There's always one. This has got to be one of the
funniest things in a long time and this guy should
have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story
from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was
fired; however, they are currently suing the Word
Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee. (Now you know why they record these
conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I
help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and
all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like
now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept
anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did
you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the
screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor
around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you,
it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power
indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it
that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that
tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the
monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug,
and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did
you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look
back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if
it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on
something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have
the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and
the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the
office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure?
Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and
manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the
closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your
system and pack it up just like it was when you got
it.
Then take it back to the store you
bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose.
What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing
stupid to own a computer ...
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